HELP... I'm not doing so good!

So what's gone wrong!

I really don't know... That's a lie!  I do.  I've stopped exercising.  Stopped eating healthily.  Stopped logging my food and exercise.  Comfort eating.  

Had a follow-up meeting with Dr Jo.  Told her some of my issues and said I'm not coping with the NON-BOUNDARY system.  I'm just far too tempted to be naughty and allowing myself to be naughty - not occasionally but ALL THE TIME!

I'm now armed with a new book!  On reading the first chapter I'm motivated again.  It is a six week progress book so just away to start it off.  For those just embarking on a diet/healthy eating/change of lifestyle,  you only do so from day 15!  Yes Day 15 as the first two weeks are to get the HEAD and THINKING LIKE A THIN PERSON  well set up.

So I'm hoping I will no longer have unplanned meals!  The new phrase for being greedy!

Sprained my ankle whilst out delivering so exercise has been curtailed.  I'm not scared of exercise I actually really enjoy it so I suppose not getting to do it is causing a bit of stress and we all know that stress can be the call to indulge!

But I'll be back and let you know my progress.  I've got to buy some flash cards, some sticky notes and a notepad!  I think I have all of those in the house - so off to seek them out and get prepped!  I will regain control.


Well.. was it too good to be true!

Ok - so we are out in the big bad world of no restrictions!  How hard can it be!  I'm the perfect weight, feel amazing, compliments being flung at me left, right and centre.  Confidence is bursting through my pores... but the biggest challenge is going to the supermarket, corner shop, out to dinner.

With no restrictions now - other than I should have healthier choices springing to the front of my mind - temptation to the food addict is everywhere!

I think I was very very good for the first few weeks...

I did at my second review put on 8lbs!  I was panicking...  Panic not - as I had actually gained 6lbs of muscle and only 2lb of fat and was still very much in proportion...  now I did skip away thinking - yippee - I can eat naughtily...

Yep you guessed it - I did not relent.

I'm sitting here today cursing at myself, angry, disappointed in myself that during the festive period I did virtually NO EXERCISE, INCREASED THE BAD FOOD 100% - and thought it would be OK...  Well it's not.  I feel sluggish, I'm not sleeping as well, my NEW clothes that I was so proud to get into are feeling the pinch.  Don't get me wrong - I still look amazing - but if I do not pull this under control I will very soon be back to the black scoop neck and stretchy waist trousers that were my uniform of necessity.

So today is the turning point.  I have my third appointment on 26 January - my daughter's 18th birthday.  Two weeks away.  Exercise is back on.  Healthy eating - no sugary foods - crisps - biscuits - plenty protein and fresh vegetables.  See if I can get back on track...

What I will take away from my two weeks of naughtiness is - it certainly was not worth it!  I certainly need to value myself and my health an awful lot higher than that.  So to my fellow dieters who maybe jumped ship in December - it is definitely time to rock that body again :) x

Am I too thin...

Who would have thought it!  Have I become too thin?  I've certainly been this weight before but oh my word I've never looked this thin.  I am probably the perfect size 11...  pretty good really since I was pushing a size 20/22.

When is enough, enough?  I love looking in the mirror.  I love standing on the scales.  I even love shopping - but not buying.  I don't know what to buy.  For years I've known that I needed to wear dark colours!  Wide and long to cover the bumps and bulges.  But, now... well I can wear pretty much whatever I want.  

How do I avoid the mutton dressed as lamb scenario?  Underwear is another thing...  all my knickers are too big.  What style do I now go for... bras - well I'm definitely waiting until the weight has stabilized for a few weeks before I go and get fitted as I've definitely dropped cup sizes - although I must say the bust was almost the last thing to drop :)

Anyway I just wanted to share the dilemma that now being thinner still poses problems.  That tiny bulge is still an issue.  Should I  have surgery to remove skin?  Is that bump on my nose a problem now?  Are my eyelids droopy?  And the list goes on and on and on...

I embarked on my weight loss to feel lighter, feel healthier, have more energy and ideally be able to walk into ANY shop and try something on off the peg!  Well I have achieved all of that and some.  I love the way I look at present.  I'm scared about coming off the discipline of the diet and will I be able to avoid jumping into temptation with both feet...  I will let you know... can you feel my fear?


Adapting to a new phase every week is going to be challenging I think.  Although I welcome the new food groups I also worry how I'll adapt.

Potatoes... the first highlight.  Pasta...  These are two items that I used to eat regularly.  I no longer crave them but I want to know how I'll feel eating them!

Potatoes... bit of a let down.  Not nearly as good as I remembered.

Pasta ... now that was interesting  I was only allowed 100g - so not that much.  I chose wholewheat pasta - best option!  I only added a passata sauce with my allowed vegetables.  It took me 30 minutes to eat it.  Then two hours for my tummy to settle.  It was tight, grumbly and generally felt yuck.  I did not enjoy those feelings and won't be rushing to include potatoes or pasta in my new diet.

I am still on my ultrasound and skin tightening treatments during the last few phases.  Although not quite so much of me to suck!  In fact it makes funny noises the less body fat you have.  I'm not sure it gets any easier but there has been one or two sessions where I've thought it was a nice massage!  Lisa has been my "main therapist" during my whole journey.  She has been great.  Totally making me feel relaxed and we have a laugh and a giggle during the treatment.  It does help to chat through it so you are not thinking about how some bits are uncomfortable!  All the therapists are lovely but you do have a rapport with the one that you see most often.

On with the re-education...  I already fear the hard work is only just about to begin.

Six weeks to go...

On my return from holiday the girls were shocked at how much I had lost.  Delighted, obviously but I think they thought I would stabilise and do minimal damage.  So how good do I feel - GREAT!

Well, I had my bloods done, weight and the all important skin tightening.  Ooh it was not good to be back.  Like being on the machine for the very first time.  And the only blessing was the filters hadn't  been changed!

I had lost a little muscle whilst away but my exercise was curtailed considerably.  I would need to get going again this week.

So Phase 3 - you get to have an ORANGE!  Now some of you would think YUCK and yep an orange probably wouldn't have been my first choice but god it tasted so so good.

Also... some more new veggies to include.

As I am already at my target I will now just be on each Phase for one week... so six weeks till I finish... the end is near, very near.

I've hit my target!

Target weight for me was 76kg!  AND...  I managed to achieve that whilst on holiday...  WOOP WOOP and more WOOP WOOP.

I remember saying I'll never manage to lose that last 12lbs as I had been feeling great prior to that!  I've now set myself a new challenge of 70kg!  Maybe even thin we are never ever satisfied with the way we look :(

The holiday contd...

So - I think you'd get a little bored of a blow by blow account of how tricky it was to eat for a month on holiday... so I'll condense it for you - here goes!

Holiday Week One - being organised was key.  Having sachets made up (just-in-case) we got delayed and didn't get back to cook etc.  Challenges - finding something appropriate to eat whilst dining out and boy we were dining out lunch and tea most days.  Garden salads were a fall back when nothing else was available.  Most veggie dishes were including vegetables that were not allowed - they all looked delicious and appeared healthy - but not allowed.

Everyone apologised prior to their meal as I couldn't eat it - it bothered them a lot more than it bothered me as I wasn't actually used to eating normal food as such.

Holiday Week Two - Timeshare...  Sun - yeah!  Sunbathing - yeah!  Bikini - well why the hell not!!!  A lovely relaxing week, easy to accommodate my meals as we ate in the apartment most of the time.  One night we did have fish and chips.  Yes I even managed to find something I could have!  A piece of grilled John Dory and SALAD - fae a chipper!  Delicious.  

We did some fun stuff this week but it was easier to manage the food.  Slipped on one salad I ordered at Steve Irwin Zoo - it had hidden cheese in it!!!  So I picked it out!  That's how good I was at NOT breaking the pattern.

Holiday Week Three - The MOST challenging week!  Staying in a hotel in Melbourne and Sydney.  Catching up with friends!  Can Alizonne be done!  The day we arrived in Melbourne we were whisked off to a friends house and presented with a beautiful food platter!  Smoked salmon on brushetta, beautiful cheese, champagne, more champagne and even more champagne!  I, little halo glowing above my head, had water!  Plain old tap water.  They munched into Tim Tam biscuits too...  They were all very impressed and curious about this strange diet that I was on...  I'm going to take it to Australia!  Now to find a good doctor to get in tow with!  Sam...

Holiday Week Four - The weight was falling off me!  Lost a total of 12lbs.  I did splurge and buy some new jeans - and a few tops...  and a beautiful jacket that I spotted on Day 1... thanks Mum x  

The only thing that I broke on the holiday was the pattern of having to have a protein instead of a sachet at lunch and dinner but this was done with prior consent from the clinic.  I kept in touch via email during my whole month away.

The thing I missed the most was the skin tightening.  A month of no skin tightening was beginning to show!

But it goes to show that you can diet, have a fabulous holiday, lose weight and feel healthy and look amazing.  Phase 3 beckons...

The One Month Holiday

The flight was late afternoon on the Saturday.  So I had a chance to eat a couple of meals.  I made up three pre-prepared mixes and took some drink sachets in my handbag.  I think I was ready!  How I was going to manage the time differences I wasn't entirely sure but we'd go with the flow!

Aberdeen to London Heathrow...  Flight one - EASY!

London Heathrow to Singapore... travelling Economy Plus!  Nice... Comfy seats, extra leg room, cosy blanket, nicer meals!  Oh yeah - I'm not allowed the meals am I!  Well I was excited as they had steak on the menu.  BUT, when they got to me steak had run out.  So I asked if they had any salad as the other option was covered in sauce - no good for me.  About an hour later I got a salad, from first class no less.  It was the best salad ever!  Stewardess apologised but I was delighted.  I did have my protein sachet aswell so I was not starving by any matter of means.

Now to try and sleep...

Think I managed about three hours uninterrupted which I felt was quite good.  Quite a bit of movie watching and a decision to not eat any more on the plane just drink water.

We didn't have long in Singapore, enough time to make up another couple of sachets before our evening flight to Brisbane.  Now travelling with Qantas.

Oh yes, Qantas Economy Plus was an improvement on BA...  even nicer reclining seats.  Table cloths on our TRAYS!  Food was delicious.  I managed a salad and some beef.  So far so good.  More sleep before we land in Brisbane at 0600 hours.

Felt remarkably fresh when we landed.  Met by my cousin and her husband and whisked off to their lovely home.  It was cool to say the least but the sun was just coming up and it felt so good to be back in Australia.

Now the trick is to stay awake as long as you can!  With my cousin having just arrived from Aberdeen the day before we were all flagging!  So off out to see what is local to her...  first stop a cafe for coffee and banana cake!  Bring on the test of the diet.

All I could order was a glass of water as I wasn't due to eat till later.  I had to endure and smell bruschetta with crushed avocado and a hot chocolate, and TWO HUGE slices of banana cake and a pear and cinnamon cake.  It was warmed, of course, so the smell was intense.  Oh my goodness was I going to falter on day one... not on your nelly!


End of Week 14

Well this is going to be the week from hell!  So so much to do...  Why?  Cos I'm going on holiday!  Yippee I hear you cry, you have lost a lot of weight - you'll look amazing - but what about the diet!  

What about the diet?!

Well the holiday is to Australia and it's for a month!  Ok - still fabulous I know, but how will I manage the diet...

The week leading up to this impending four week jolly to Australia was chaotic.  There was the rush to finish FIVE magazines - yep FIVE.  There was last minute buying for packing!  There was my sister's graduation - A Masters no less...  There was the HAIR, the nails, the feet, the...  all the other bits that needed to be done.  There was last dance classes and oh yes, check the tickets and check-in.  All in a week.

Sister's graduation was lovely.  She looked amazing and we got some lovely photographs.  Last dance class was great.  Packing was - difficult.  I had to fit in 30 days worth of sachets!  I was 1lb away from starting Phase 3 too.  But chose to stick with what I was comfortable with and could manage and stay on Phase 2 with the option to add in some of the extra Phase 3 veg!  Yep - you get extra veg at Phase 3.

So what sachets do I pick.  I ended up picking mainly puddings, chocolate brownie and drinks.  Why?  Because they are all easy to make.  Can be done cold - except the brownie but if push came to shove I would happily eat the cake mix as it is rather good :)  Along with the 150 sachets I had to pack 2 boxes of Quinton, a bottle of all my other supplements too.  There was a big space required for the case.  As an emergency I packed a third of it in my hand luggage in case there was no case at the other end!  I also had my last tightening session for a month - not that I'd miss the suit and the suction but maybe after a month of not having it I'd realise the benefits.

Week 14 - Phase 2

Well I was excited to be starting on 'proper' meat.  But what on earth will I have!  120gms - how much is that in real terms... quite a lot actually - more than you would think!

So for the first meal I did a stir fry!  Yeah I know - original NOT - but it was all about eating and chewing and by making it small made it easier to chew.  I added some chicken seasoning, a kick of chilli for some bite and of course my permitted veg!

Didn't last long...  probably ate it far too quickly...  digestion could be a problem...  but boy did it taste good!  Yum.  Strange finishing the day on proper food and probably missing my sweet pudding fix which I have become accustomed to having after my veg!  


Weeks 12 and 13

Dropped another 5 lbs - but I suppose that is really 2.5 lb a week as I missed last week.

Officially start Phase 2 tomorrow - feeling excited - just a little.

Energy levels are on the up.  Comments are continuing.  People curious to know what has happened to all the fat and do I have a lot of loose skin!  Well the answer is no - probably aided by the exercise and the skin tightening treatments which are invaluable!

So - phase 2 what does that involve...

Firstly - dropping a sachet.  It is to be the last meal of the day so you can now have a restricted group of fish, meat and eggs or yogurt or quark.  Well excited - proper meal.  Not forgetting your vegetables too.


Week 11

Missing my weigh in this week and my treatments due to having to go and collect my daughter's passport from Glasgow!  

Glasgow was quite good fun.  Mum and I just wandered about then we decided I should try on some clothes!  Well - I had to steer myself into the mainstream shopping area!  No more plus sizes - YIPPEE....  Trying on clothes that I never thought I could wear.  Felt good.  Didn't buy anything though as I know I still have 28lbs to go... 

Week 10

Shattered.  Tired.  Lethargic.  Almost like being on Week One again.  

Not sure if there is a bug going about but certainly been off-colour.  Still managed to lose 4lbs though.

Week 8 and 9

Losing track of time now.  Every week is just another week.  Vegetable deprivation has kicked in!  I so miss onions!  Yep that smelly veg that makes your fingers smell and your eyes stream but adds so much flavour!

Doing well with the exercise and managed a staggering 88000 steps this week.  The dogs are loving it!  Walking them about 4.7 miles a day when time allows and doing deliveries has helped.

I've dropped about another 9lbs in total.  People are noticing and commenting.  Suddenly feeling vulnerable being propelled into the spotlight.  I have spent so many years trying to blend into the wall and not be noticed - sure that is part of the psychological effects of overeating/comfort eating/boredom eating - however you wish to call it.  

Anyway - I just have to suck it up and smile and say thank you.  No explanation is required.

Will I make it to Phase 2 or even 3 before my impending holiday - looking a little doubtful at the moment.

Week 7

Well - still on Stage 1 but have now dropped 31 lbs of FAT!  Yes that yellow blobby stuff has started to melt away...

The challenges of the diet are still the same.  Being organised truly is a key point.  It is getting a little repetitive and you long for some new vegetables to try.  Not been very adventurous with experimenting with the food - too scared I won't like it and will have to eat it!  Strawberry milkshake is still my worst choice to date.

I would love to have a GRAPE... just one :)

The weekend

Well - that was difficult.

Veggies from the hotel - turned out to be boiled carrots, potatoes and mangetout!  Of course couldn't eat any of it!  Thankfully ALDI were across the road so nipped and bought some allowed salad veg.  That will have to do till I get home.

The timings of the workshops and the timings for my meals clashed a little bit so was probably nearer four hours between meals at times.  Thank goodness for the chocolate brownies which I spoilt by putting in too much mixed spice!

Water... I've drunk litres and litres of it.  The weather was amazing.  Sitting out by the canal in Skipton at lunchtime - truly beautiful.

Managing to wear clothes I've not worn in ages - even years!  Feeling really good.  

On a definite high - and hoping that my sacrifice of a five course meal will pay off on the scales!

Start of Week 6...

Loss of 27lbs in five weeks!  Starting week 6 and got the challenge of going away for the weekend.  Pre-booked before I started the diet.

I'm away from Friday to Monday so need to take food to cover that period.  What to take!

Chicken nuggets mixed with potato pie and sheeps cheese and baked in the oven - that will do for three meals.  Had to pre-cook this as no access to microwaves or cookers whilst away.

Threw in some sachets of pudding and drinks and hoped for the best.  Some salad and hoping the hotel can give me some oven baked veggies...

Dancing all weekend with workshops and socials at night so hoping that this will make a big drop on the scales!

Day 28

Dropped another 4lbs last week.

Upped the exercise.  Doing by 10000 + steps.  Enjoying the diet.  Getting into the way of things.  Being organised is key for when you are busy.

Roasted cauliflower with vinegar is my new creation.  Tastes yum.


Day 14 - Weigh In Day

Same old same old...

Struggled with suit.

Ultrasound - fine

Rollers - unique - slightly less uncomfortable... different therapist has different ways of doing it. Not sure which way I prefer.


2.1 kgs (4.69lbs)...  oh yes - very nearly one stone after 14 days - that's good.

Confidence is much higher.  Even the way I speak on the video diary has a noticeable change.

Catch you next time - I'll be thinner - will you?